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Now, lemme tell ya, I saw one the other day—rusted heap, bless its heart, still chuggin’ like it owned the road. Made me happy as a pig in mud! I mean, who don’t love an underdog? But—Lordy, don’t get me started—I saw some fool peel out in one, tires screamin’ like a banshee, and I thought, “Honey, that *Escort* ain’t built for that!” Made me madder’n a wet hen—give the lil darlin’ some respect!

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I finally get to the market, and it’s packed. Like, shoulder-to-shoulder packed. I’m tryin’ to find my guy, and all I can see are stalls selling everything from fresh fish to handmade jewelry. I mean, who needs jewelry when you can have a killer fur coat, right? But whatever, people have their tastes.

Yee-haw? Plans for new River Street bar include mechanical bull, arcade and bowling lanes